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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

so i kno....

im suppose 2 write about luv but this deals kinda wit luv....ok so im a lil pissed bc a person i kno has a status sayin that he "wants to get married.r there ne good women around?no kids (no offense)." so that makes me wonder....how many guys r that closed minded??I know so many wonderful, strong mothers who are single. Why is having a child a point against a woman? I mean honestly, me myself, am a single mother. There are so many woman who come in contact with worthless men that catch them wen they are naive, or are "slicktalking" (like my gma say). I mean why does a woman falling in love (9 times outta 10) being committed and thinking of a future with this guy her fault. Accidents do happen and i must say my daughter is the best accident I ever had. Being a mother does not down grade the fact that you are a good woman. I think it upgrades you.

Being a mother (a good one) means that you are independent and can take care of a whole human being. It is your responsibility to raise a woman (well in my case) you have to prepare this person for what lies ahead........life. So if i was a guy and saw that a young woman, n college, has a job, and takes care of her child I would jump on that.....u know y? because that mean she is equally on my level. She can do what she has to do for the ones that she loves and that could include me.SMH at narrow mindedness!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

i kno

sorry dudes n dudettes i ben doin sum i guess u can say soul searching? As u all kno i am unemployed at the time so i have ben on my grind hard as hell tryin 2 find a job......but all i have r intervies n we have decided to go with a more qualified person. Ok so enough with the sadness right.....lets c......ok this 1 guy that i like is kinda irking me bc i feel like he aint puttin n no work.......but wen he do i like him even more but i guess i have 2 leave him alone huh....lol....i have a few other potentials so im good....right now im chillin...im more concerned with gettin my life 2gether n straight then a man lol......once i get my car bakk n get a job n start school bakk then i can start talking bout love again.....but as 4 right now luv dnt live here. I will say this though one of my friends gave me very strong words......trying 2 b happy is complicated.....now i kno 2 sum of yall thats like wats so great about that but 2 me i feel like that describes me so well bc im such a complex person n wen ppl ask me "jakia wat r u looking for?" i dnt like 2 say a bf or a man i like 2 say a friend...bc honestly thats wat i want. A person that i can confide n and trust. a person that is willing 2b there for me as much as i am there 4 them. but its complicated bc i want a relationship but not really. i guess i want 2 ease n2 things u kno. i want 2b friends with some1 n then mayb let it grow n2 something more then that. i jus feel like happiness is so coplicated...bc u can b happy wit one aspect of ur life n not others. at one time i was happy that i was n school, had a job, a car, my daughter but then i wasnt happy with my luv life........u c how it go? its a crazy world out there n its full of crazy ppl n i am one of them lol. yessir i am a crazy, weird, nerd, dork, n everything else but i love it n i kno 1day i will b happy with ALL aspects of my life...........sometimes i feel like wen i get 2 where im going its goin 2 b crazy like so beautifully awesome that i wont b able 2 contain myself. i feel like i will soon b overjoyed n overflowing with positivity n it wont b ne more reckless behavior...i feel like soon i wont have to act like a bitch bc i wont have 2........bc bitchz wont cum 2 me sideways lol......i feel like who eva imma b with wil cherish me the way i cherish them.....that right there is a beautiful thing......i kno ONE day i will b able 2 look n my other halfs eyes n kno that they r honest,n loyal, caring, n everything i ever asked for 1.........he will make up for the heartache n pain i felt wen i was wit jermaine he will luv my daughter as if she was his own........lol....i get hype thinkin about bc i feel like happiness is around the corner....no matter how complex it mayb it is soon 2 cum lol n wen it does come, it may not come all at once, but thats fine. I will accept every piece of happiness n in the end i will have all the piecec i need 2 create a wondeful story for my life..........huuuuuuh!