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Saturday, August 22, 2009

adam's rib

ok guys im not really tryin to get biblical but I am gonna get lovey dovey. Wed night I was having a convo with him and we were talking about how women are sometimes portrayed as being deceitful (its coming guys gotta form the word n my head lol) and that turned into a convo about men being protectors of women (again its comin soon guys) and then this finally turned into a question I ask guys I date or talk to: Do you believe that God make a woman from a guys rib every time? If so do u think that this woman is that mans soul mate like Adam n eve? Ok so before I go on Im going to help those out that don't kno the story of Adam and eve. Again, I'm not tryin to force religion on ne1 I just think that this is a beautiful "love" story about soul mates:
For a little while, Adam was the only human being in existence. "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be all alone." (Genesis 2:18) "So The Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs [also translated took part of the man's side] and closed up the place with flesh. Then The Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." (Genesis 2:21-24)


OK so I wanna say 1st that I grew up in church and have known this story since I was able to understand the bible and start reading it for myself. Me, myself I never looked at it as a religious story necessarily.....I always looked at it as God telling us that for every man there is a woman that he designed from one of his ribs........a soul mate










Its so beautiful to me that since the beginning of life itself a woman and man were destined to b there for each other together. Ok so this is how the converstaion played out and basically I guess my question is not about adam and eve but more if you believe in soul mates? Do you believe that in this world there is a perfect person meant and made just for you?So if your answer is yes why do you think that there are people in this world who never find their true love and die and live unhappy??








My prospective on this is that stuff happens to people where they die before they meet their soul mates. Or you find ppl that are stuck in their ways like I was...who were so heartbroken that they didnt want to look for love or who are not even open to love. They may miss the person that is their perfect fit.






So in the end i feel like this: In the beginning God created the world and Adam...He knew that Adam needed a companion that would be perfect for him so out of his flesh he created Eve and they were perfect for each other. The first love between human beings. They were soulmates. It is my belief that God creates a soulmate for everyone that is born. I believe in this world there will b someone who is your perfect fit in every way...........and that ladies and gentlemen is beautiful ♥



Wednesday, August 19, 2009

men vs. women n NUMBERS

howdie......i recently had a convo with him (my some1 special) and we were basically talking about how many ppl we had sex with. The funny thing about this convo was that he was scared to tell me how many people and I was nervous of his reaction. After that was all said and done we had a really deep convo about how guys numbers are expected to be high and women numbers are expected to be under 10.


ok so dnt go thinking my number is high bc its not and at the end of the blog I will reveal my number bc I really dnt care wat ppl think about me n wat they call me bc the person who opinion does matter accepts me for me.....ok so bakk to the matter at hand. Growing up as a child I always had a problem wit the things my family didnt allow me to do. Not bc i was a bad ass child but bc I was the oldest (for the most part) of my cousins and immediate siblings but nvr could do the things they were allowed to do. The reason my mom n gma always told me was "well Jakia their boys and your a girl how would you look if you did that?" And the little rebel bitch in me always wanted to scream "I would look like Jakia!" I hate how society raises women and men to think that a woman is suppose to be polite, quiet, and virginist. See this was a problem for me because 1 I am no quiet woman....if you know me you probably shaking your head and saying "that she is not." Ok so why do I have to be quiet and 2 I enjoy sex. Yup I said it I feel that a maybe a lil bit of a nympho but I have great self control lmao.

While women have to live up to this impossible sex free lifestyle think about it....wat is a man expected to be? loud, obnxious, overly sexually active, rude, and etc. Why is that?


Why does society think that we should be total polar opposites....what about the women such as myself who are loud by nature and can't help being that way? Societies destiny for us is to be outcasts...thats not right...


ok so now bakk to the whole numbers thing....wen me n him where talkin he said something that made alot of sense "a womens 5 is like a guys 25." That shit crazy...really crazy. ok so I have a quick scenarios

scenario1: A girl loses her virginity at the age of 16 has 10 bf frm 16-24. She has sex with each one of her bfs. Says she has a time in her life (say 19-21) where she doesnt have a bf but like most women still wants to have sex so in her "drought" she has 1 cuddy buddy and then later has another. This makes her # 12. SO my question is does that make her a ho?




scenario2: A guy loses his virginity at the age of 14. He has 2 real gf frm 14-24. When he is not in a relationship he has 1 cuddy buddy every 6 months which is about 16 altogether. When he was in college he had 4 1 night stand along with his cuddy buddies. SO that makes his # 22 does that make him a pimp?




By no means is this right......this is soo bias and wrong...point blank... i mean honestly it shouldnt b 5>25 just because the gender of the person is different. If you had like 10 partners n dated none of them ur a hoe male or female.




If you have had 10 partners n dated then 4 periods of time then to me ur not a hoe bc u were n real relationships wit these ppl.....so the moral of the story ladies n gentlemen is a number is jus that a number....its not the quanitity its the quality...n as for me....my number is (drumroll) 7.lol so call me a ho or a jump off or wateva but honestly I nvr really cared wat ppl called me eva lol...peace

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Baby momma RULES

1st let me start off by saying.....
1. im not calling any body a baby momma specifically
2. I dnt like the word baby momma bc for sum women it degrades there mothering abilities
3. This is my opinion
ok so bakk to the matter at hand...wat are these "rules" (i kno thats wat ur saying lol) ok well as a mother of one I have cum across many people who have children whether they be male or female. It is my experience that males treat their "baby mommas" differently regardless if their together or apart. They treat them with a certian degree of respect and "they can't do nothing wrong" type of attitude. SO I kno sum of guys are thinking that im wrong but once I tell you a few of the rules I think that you will probably reconsider.






RULES

#1 Baby mommas are always the fall bakk person

-u dnt believe ok well think about it...wen u n ya girl go through problems or no longer together who is the 1st person that show up? call? text? aim? etc ya baby momma. Sometimes they real slick wit it and blame it on the child and then they ease they ass right bakk in2 ya life and guess wat you let them lol. And thats fine bc like the rule says she is ur fall bakk person. Wen u aint gettin none she will b there for u 2 give u wat u need...which brings me 2 the nxt rule


#2 Baby mommas are always there to satisfy you sexually.

-That is to say, yall have a kid together so obviously yall had sex...so who is the person u gon go to wen u n ur "drought" n the other shorties acting crazy...the baby momma will comply...she probably would b hype. n thats fine yall got history together...yall have a kid(s)together...






#3 No matter wat ur baby momma do to the girl your dating or the girl you wit your ALWAYS gon have an excuse for her


-ok so think about it wen ya baby momma n ur gf get n2 it who do you talk to? Its just like the movies why did I get married the nigga (spawn lol) nvr said nething to his baby momma he always said sumthing 2 his WIFE. which is really fukked up n my opinion. If your baby momma is crazy u need 2 control her bc if ya girl only gon take but so many bitchz n hos lol. Its crazy but most guys protect them.






Now I know many of you are probably like how u gon to call b baby

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

nice guys finish FIRST

ok so i kno this is not the quote that everyone is used to seeing. Yall like "girl you definitely got this wrong." well I wanna explain something to you, this is completely right......in my world that is. I like nice guys. Yup, I do. Now when I say nice guys I don't mean the kind of guy that doesn't stand up for himself or one that lets people walk all over him.


I DO NOT WANT A GUY THAT IS NICE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THOSE KIND OF GUYS ARE WEAK AND HAVE THE SPINE OF A JELLY FISH. Sorry I dont mean to be rude I just want to put my feeling out there. In my book a guy that is sweet and caring is a nice guy. This is not to say that a nice guy can't be "hood" or popular or wat eva. I know alot of nice guys that are
popular with their friends, play sports, and even play girls, but the difference between the nice guy im describing is the way that he treats his girl, woman, gf, etc.

He treats his other half with he respect she deserves and demands. He believes in chivalry.


He treats his lady as such. He is in love with her and adores her. He only wants her mentally and physically. He puts it on her and is selfish with her.


This is why he does not cheat on her or degrade her. He is a nice guy lol. He is a gentlemen. He wants to grow old with her and build a family with her. He loves her.

Now not to say that he lets her get away with murder or becomes a punk but I guess what I'm saying is that a normal guy that you know has this potential in him. I know plenty of guys who are normal, regular guys who are competitive, like sports, play sports, in fraternities, have the reputation of being a "ladies man" whjo totally change when they have gf. Its not like the girl changes them but in a way I guess they do. Their still the same person but they catch the "nice guy" disease called luv. This is such a beautiful thing that all anyone can do is respect it.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Smuts on a rise...........imma have 2 kill a bitch

okey dokey kiddies...sorry i had 2 b absent 4 a few days but I am a mom lol. but neway bakk 2 the subject at hand....smuts. Ok so for those who know me I use the word smut very, very often because that is a word that best describes who im trying to describe, if that makes any sense. Ok so let me first tell you what a smut is......a smut in MY defination is a ho, slut, jump off, etc.


But to better clarify I basically call girls who go after other ppl men...or girls who have a certian mentality smuts. yall know im going 2 give examples right lol.



EXAMPLE 1: say your in a relationship with a guy who has several female friends...but he is faithful and doesnt even look thier way. But they are always texting him and calling him or just tryin 2b around him. 9 times out of 10 those girls are smuts. Their tryin to take your man away from you.lol. ok I kno your probably saying "maybe their good friends" ok you think that if you want but I just use my self. I have plenty of males friends and I text them now and then and see them when I get a chance but if they have a girl I take it upon myself to meet her and let her kno that im a friend. And then I make sure that I do not disrespect her by calling or texting late night or around the clock. Thats not my man so therefore I do not need to be up on him all the time........a smut will definately try to get you out the pic so she can fukk him...because thats what she is...a smut.

EXAMPLE 2:If you meet a girl and she is very careful about wat she says about her past....9 times out of 10 she's a smut. She doesnt want anyone to know where she goes or where she has been. Most ppl are pretty open about their past because the past is what makes you the person you are today. In a smuts case its the same thing but the difference is a smuts past is what made her a smut...lol.






EXAMPLE 3: ok so this the last one....a smut uses her body to get wat eva she wants....n usually wat she wants has something to do wit her body. get it? ok so most smuts use their body for attention and to get things frm ppl. Most (not all) strippers are smuts.......prostitutse are defiantely smuts....most video girls are smuts. They use their body to try to get ahead instead of using their brains like most girls do....smdh.

I will end this note with a smut list lol.....some ppl may call this hating but I jus want to give you guys real examples.......so ok now i only think one of these girls is a stripper but she sucks bc no1 wants to give her money lmao: Ashley oblien.......ashley washburn....brittany young.......brittany (but i dnt kno her last name sorry lol)......heather aka t.r..

#1 rule smuts nvr deserve respect...respect and smut cant even b n the same sentence lol...peace


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

and the MORAL of the story is; NIGGAZ IS FUNNY

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

where the HOOD n high fashion meet....

Sooo I have a really big pet peeve...I hate when ppl call me or refer to themselves (or others) as ghetto or hood.My last blog was aboput being a lady or ladylike.......Then I read a very good blog by my hmegirl nakia (harajuku ishh* look it up) that talked about beyonce vs keyshia cole. In the blog she talked about how some ppl call KC "ghetto". Yes she did use quotations when she said this. So its just reminded me of how i absolutely HATE those words. Hood and Ghetto are the worse way to describe yourself. I mean this made me think of when I was in middle school and one of my teachers actually told me where the word Ghetto come from . So I looked up hood and ghetto. According to thefreedictionary.com:
ghet·to (gt)
n. pl. ghet·tos or ghet·toes
1. A usually poor section of a city inhabited primarily by people of the same race, religion, or social background, often because of discrimination.
2. An often walled quarter in a European city to which Jews were restricted beginning in the Middle Ages.
3. Something that resembles the restriction or isolation of a city ghetto: "trapped in ethnic or pink-collar managerial job ghettoes" (Diane Weathers).


hood 2 (hd)
n. Slang
1. A hoodlum; a thug.
2. A rowdy or violent young person.

[Short for hoodlum.]

hood 3 or 'hood (hd)
n. Slang
A neighborhood, usually in the inner city.
So again who would want to call themselves ghetto or hood?? I hate that word becauseeople try to use it to describe me.People think that just because you are from a bad neighborhood or grew up in an area that is lower class that your ghetto. Well, I have news for you....ghetto is from the holocaust. Its a place where Jewish people had to live. Some were called slums.


I bet that if you go to a desendent of the holocaust they would get absolutely offended if you called someone ghetto around them. I bet they would sit you down and give you a REAL history lesson.

GHETTO is a word that should cauise pain, sadness, or even anger. No one should be proud to be called ghetto. I never say I'm from the ghetto...or that I grew up in the ghetto. It is true that I lived in a single parent home with a mother who struggled everyday to make ends meat. Yes I did live in a lower income part of town. This ladies and gentlemen does not make me or the area I grew up in ghetto.

ok, so now that you have been educatedon ghetto let me talk a little bit about hood. Ok so I kno some people talk aboput how their "from the hood" or they "rep the hood" but guess what you look stupid as hell. Why do you want to "rep" someplace people struggle to make it out of everyday?? SMDH. Then its those who call people hood. Do you know how many times I have been called hood....too many. People say the way i dress or the way I act or talk is hood. How is that?? Hood doesn't even have a real definition. Hood is a slang term used just as ghetto is. Now I kno what many of you are going to say that know me "how you saying all this and on ya myspace you had where thehood and high fashion meet?" So let me clarify something for you...that is part of a song 1. 2. when I put that on myspace I was refering to how I like high fashion, couture clothing but I also like regular stuff you get from target or wal mart. That doesnt make it "hood" but thats the way jay z used it and I liked it. So yea I am very very loud, and yes I do jump around like a "cricket," (friends not me say that lol)I rarely use proper english,i wear weird stuff, i cut and style my hair weird and unfamiliar like lol, and guess what I do this to please me. I don't consider myself hood or ghetto. I consider myself an INDIVIDUAL. Because under all this weirdness I'm a smart ass woman. Yes woman. I have an advanced high school diploma and (even though its taking time) I am working on my b.a. I get good grades and I actually study and do work. Hood...its people in middle class subarbia trying to pull off what they think is hood or ghetto. Instead of glamorizing it we should educate them and let them know what it really is......

Saturday, July 25, 2009

What does it mean to b a lady??

Ok so im a twitterer lol n Solange is one of the ppl i follow....so like 2 or 3 wks ago she was talking bout how much she hate hair......long....short....wateva lol. N i totally agreed wit her. Then she talkied about how she cut her hair twice before. ok so fast forward n i c this photo on global grind:

so ppl were goin so hard on her lol.......i mean really talk about her like that? She just dont feel like dealing wit hair no more. I feel her on that bc I feel the same way. LMAO i mean I did the same thing..lol. Sometimes ppl go through things n they dont wanna have to deal wit society's restrictions lol.Who says that girls cant get a ceaser?? Why cant I go to a barber and get an edge up?

So this made em think back to how ppl always say certian things are unlady like. SO really who is the person that says certian shit a lady dont do? So i googled how to be a lady...just to see what I got:

and:

and finally i got:

So this is what I need to be a lady.So this made me look up the definition of lady. There were over 5 definitions in one dictionary. To me thats crazy. When I think of a lady I think of a woman who is taking care of her business and has her priorities straight. SHe fly and she handle her business. I mean some of the people I think of as lady's I looked up and they said they were the most unladylike women. Like are you serious. WHo is the person in charge of saying who a lady and who not?

iono i guess I just feel like calling a person unladylike is just like calling them ghetto...I mean honestly Everyones definition of a lady is different because everyone is different. You shouldnt put anyone down or think of them as less of a lady because they do something that you dont agree with. Thats just brings me back to solange hair. She does what she want to do and others should'nt judge her because of that. Everybody should just worry about if they are doing them or bringing people down with what they say....because honestly if we go by what OTHER ppl say then we wouldnt b INDIVIDUALS!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

call me PIN UP wit my shit

Ok kiddies its another day and another blog. So i thought today that I would talk about one of my fav things....pinup girls! So i first got into pin up girls when I was in high school. That's my first time actually seeing them. This was a mistake lol. I saw them looking for something else for an english class. So as I got older I finally found out what they were watching AMERICA's NEXT TOP MODEL. At the time, this was my fav show, and they did a photoshoot where they dressed as pin up girls with modern aspect and they posed infront of a car.

So after that I kinda got hooked lol.

I don't know what it is about them. I love how their sexy but most of the time their face seems to make you think that their not doing it on purpose or its accidential. lol.

SO im the kinda girl that like to know where things come from so i can strongly luv it lol. SO here's a lil history for u: The pinup girl genre has an incredible 150 year history. It is an interesting combination of cultural history and art history starting in the 1860s. As naturally as modern pinups are with their sexuality today, pinup art and the histoty of the pinup girl is tightly connected to the history of feminism.So called carte-de-visite photographs showed burlesque performers; the very first pinup girls included Lydia Thompson and Adah Isaacs Menken. Both of them tried to gain control over their own images for years.Needless to say that they never succeded. Even the most famous pinup of all time - Bettie Page never owned her own image and lived her life in constant financial struggle. We should all learn from the history of the classic pinup girls and be protective of our product and the worth of our own image. Some modern Pinup Girls like Bernie Dexter managed to turn their image into a lucrative profession.Pinup as we generally think of it today, gained popularity in the early 1930s. It was a time in history when the image of a georgious girl took the soldiers mind of the war and reality. Whether it was the classic painted pinup calendar, advertisement, or the pinup photography,most guys in the service had a poster of his favorite taped in his locker lid.These memorialized women were first known as 'Petty Girls', named after the artist George Petty, which were popularized by Esquire magazine during those decades. The ideal depictions of scantily clad and pleasantly voluptuous women were featured in magazine calendars, centerfolds and even painted on warplanes during World War II. And every girl curled her hair in pin curls and dimpled as she smiled hoping to be taken for a pin-up herself. Today pinup girls and pinup art is back in the spot light and strong as ever. The pinup style and pinup fashion is featured once again in movies, magazine ads and got adopted by pop singers and celebrities. History provided by: http://pinuppeepshop.com/page_3.html

Ok so now you have a brief lil history to go on.lol. So me personally I love they way they dress and pics they take. My only problem is that I have seen only 1 african american pin up girl. I would love to see an icon like this in african american form.

So the above pic is my half way impression of a pin up girl.....lol....♥

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

ur like MY own special DRUG!

ok so i thought i would write abut my fav book n movie at the time TWILIGHT.ok so twilight is a book seris that was so popular they made it into a movie. the movie did so well they decided to do the second book, New Moon.



Well Im not gon tell the story but its basically about how 2ppl frm 2 different worlds find ♥ and maintain their ♥. The twist of the story is that he is a vampire lol. But the reason why I ♥ it so much (the book) is bc they ♥ each other so much. The vampire (edward) does so much for bella (the girl). He wants her to live a normal human life and doesnt want it to get interrupted bc he is a vampire. He doesnt want her to be anything but human. He evn leaves her bc he thinks this is the best thing for her. It kills him not 2b with her but he does wat he thinks is best for her survival.



♥ is a funny kind of theing you know. SOmetimes when you ♥ some1 you have 2 leave them alone so they can become the best person they can be. SO they can spread their wings. It kinda reminds me of that saying, "if you love something let it go...if it comes bakk their yours if they dont they never were." I think thats n awesome way to put it. Because if someone really ♥ you then it wouldnt matter if you have to leave for time then your ♥ shouldnt change. If they let you know y they were leaving and that they were going 2b faithful 2u etc....then they r urs.......I jus ♥ this story. hopefully ill be able 2 finish the saga n c wat happens........if your lookinf 4 a good book...sink ya teeth n2 this !!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

ALTER ego

Well after seeing a very nice photo with que frm day26 and dawn richards of danity kane i decided to talk about the concept of the shoot. The picture is seen below:




I think this shows a perfect relationship. A relationship should be like your personality. You should have an ALTER ego. A woman should be a lady....innocent...independent...classy..and caring. This is how the world should see her. As angelic,but that shouldnt be all the time. When she is with her man..boyfriend...husband...whatever title "the one" holds for you....she should be sexy...sensual...basically a freak lol. Your partner should be the same way. Thats why this picture is perfect.....they both have innocent side...then they both have a s&m side lol...n they are all connected....♥

Monday, July 20, 2009

throw it in the bag

Ok so even though I like the regular version i think im liking the REMIX so much better. Its faster and more of a party song to me while keeping the same concept for the song. I wanted to write about this very concept. My fav part of the song has to be when (fabolous if im not mistaken) says "They say it aint trickin if u got it they lying, i say it aint trickin if she gotta u mine yall niggaz aint gotta worry bout me n mines>" thats the flyest shit I ever heard. Fabolous always say really slick stuff thats sweet. But thats how it should b.....you should hold ya partner down..they sghouldnt have 2 worry about anything. That doesnt mean he gon take care of you because you suppose to want a woman thats independent and can handle her own. "I had to ask her wat u doing n that caddy..she said bc u my baby i b stunting like my daddy." See fabolous again..thats how its suppose to be....a man taken care of his woman, but she also taking car of herself....


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

so i kno....

im suppose 2 write about luv but this deals kinda wit luv....ok so im a lil pissed bc a person i kno has a status sayin that he "wants to get married.r there ne good women around?no kids (no offense)." so that makes me wonder....how many guys r that closed minded??I know so many wonderful, strong mothers who are single. Why is having a child a point against a woman? I mean honestly, me myself, am a single mother. There are so many woman who come in contact with worthless men that catch them wen they are naive, or are "slicktalking" (like my gma say). I mean why does a woman falling in love (9 times outta 10) being committed and thinking of a future with this guy her fault. Accidents do happen and i must say my daughter is the best accident I ever had. Being a mother does not down grade the fact that you are a good woman. I think it upgrades you.

Being a mother (a good one) means that you are independent and can take care of a whole human being. It is your responsibility to raise a woman (well in my case) you have to prepare this person for what lies ahead........life. So if i was a guy and saw that a young woman, n college, has a job, and takes care of her child I would jump on that.....u know y? because that mean she is equally on my level. She can do what she has to do for the ones that she loves and that could include me.SMH at narrow mindedness!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

i kno

sorry dudes n dudettes i ben doin sum i guess u can say soul searching? As u all kno i am unemployed at the time so i have ben on my grind hard as hell tryin 2 find a job......but all i have r intervies n we have decided to go with a more qualified person. Ok so enough with the sadness right.....lets c......ok this 1 guy that i like is kinda irking me bc i feel like he aint puttin n no work.......but wen he do i like him even more but i guess i have 2 leave him alone huh....lol....i have a few other potentials so im good....right now im chillin...im more concerned with gettin my life 2gether n straight then a man lol......once i get my car bakk n get a job n start school bakk then i can start talking bout love again.....but as 4 right now luv dnt live here. I will say this though one of my friends gave me very strong words......trying 2 b happy is complicated.....now i kno 2 sum of yall thats like wats so great about that but 2 me i feel like that describes me so well bc im such a complex person n wen ppl ask me "jakia wat r u looking for?" i dnt like 2 say a bf or a man i like 2 say a friend...bc honestly thats wat i want. A person that i can confide n and trust. a person that is willing 2b there for me as much as i am there 4 them. but its complicated bc i want a relationship but not really. i guess i want 2 ease n2 things u kno. i want 2b friends with some1 n then mayb let it grow n2 something more then that. i jus feel like happiness is so coplicated...bc u can b happy wit one aspect of ur life n not others. at one time i was happy that i was n school, had a job, a car, my daughter but then i wasnt happy with my luv life........u c how it go? its a crazy world out there n its full of crazy ppl n i am one of them lol. yessir i am a crazy, weird, nerd, dork, n everything else but i love it n i kno 1day i will b happy with ALL aspects of my life...........sometimes i feel like wen i get 2 where im going its goin 2 b crazy like so beautifully awesome that i wont b able 2 contain myself. i feel like i will soon b overjoyed n overflowing with positivity n it wont b ne more reckless behavior...i feel like soon i wont have to act like a bitch bc i wont have 2........bc bitchz wont cum 2 me sideways lol......i feel like who eva imma b with wil cherish me the way i cherish them.....that right there is a beautiful thing......i kno ONE day i will b able 2 look n my other halfs eyes n kno that they r honest,n loyal, caring, n everything i ever asked for 1.........he will make up for the heartache n pain i felt wen i was wit jermaine he will luv my daughter as if she was his own........lol....i get hype thinkin about bc i feel like happiness is around the corner....no matter how complex it mayb it is soon 2 cum lol n wen it does come, it may not come all at once, but thats fine. I will accept every piece of happiness n in the end i will have all the piecec i need 2 create a wondeful story for my life..........huuuuuuh!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

lessons in life

you already seen lesson 1: a nigga gon b a nigga. wrote about it n ready 2 move on 2 the nxt 1. Lesson #2: When you dont show them interest, they want you. When you do show them interest, they dont know who you are. Ok so I had this happen to me like mad times. A guy likes me n i really dnt wanna give them the time of day, but imma nice person n try 2b friends wit every1, so we talk wat eva wat eva n he starts sparking my interest a lil bit but wen i try 2 persue him he b on sum other shit. I mean damn nigga last wk u was blowing my phone up, this wk u cant even return a text message. damn......this is wat i hate. What changed so much that made u not like me like that no more. c i have standards n i dnt fukk around.
Then we have the last lesson b4 i go 2 sleep........Lesson #3: Why do men always think you don't know what they up 2? Ok so lets think about it (im bout 2 spill sum beans lol).......im a single woman n i have "options" right. Now I have 2 sort through all my "options" to find my "potentials". now the difference between n option and a potential is this, option ijus met n feeling out. Potential, I know n I might want you to b the "priority." Ok so me personally i usually have 1 or 2 "potentials" now I have something else i like 2 call the "go2 guy" This is the guy that I know only wants sex from, point blank period, so i keep him around for when i jus want sex lol. Its not a hard formula. Now guys come at you this way and that way, and I have said b4 im usually pretty good at feeling a guy out. Now if you make it 2 potentila status i like u a lil bit, but what guys fail 2 realize if you want sex frm me n i dnt cut u off n still talk 2 u now n then, guess what I just want sex frm u. Now this aint on no ho shit....no, no,no this is on sum my potentials didnt work out so im not gon have sex 4 a min but hey i did 4get about the 1 friend i got....text....n u kno wat happens after that. Like i tell my friends (n my potentials lol) u ALWAYS HAVE 2 HAVE A BAKK UP PLAN! n thats words 2 live by lol

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

what else can i say

ok so after a very trying wk im FINALLY hme n VA. What else can i say but i am happy. i mean yea im dealing with alot of shit now but things look like their on the up n up........I have ben put through much worse and made it through so all i have to do is jus keep my faith. I mean i havent even heard frm the "jermaine stalker" n a very long time so thats always good news. I can start my job hunt bakk bc i dnt have 2 babysit no lil kids. My daughter is n good health n my fam really enjoyed babysitting her n NY. I dnt have stress of grades right now...even though thats kind of a bad thing but like i said faith! its keepin me going n knowin n the bakk of my mind that God really does have something planned 4 me (as well as my daughter) keeps me motivated. I CAN DO THIS. I WILL DO THIS. i will prevail, no doubt about it lol. It jus takes time....smh....but u know on another note; sometimes i feel like jus as things r goin my way something comes n the way n knocks the shit outta of my hand. n ppl wonder y i smoke bud sometime......i b fukkin stressed lol, really comeon ppl.

Monday, April 20, 2009

best i ever had

since im feeling drake a lil bit more then my boy kanye then i guess i can write something about the best i eva had....but not 2 specific kiddies lol......well i kinda feel a lil partial to "the best" bc i think wen all ppl...women n men.....think bakk 2 the best they ever had they always think of the person they were n luv wit the most. bc i think even that song drake talks about other things then them jus fukkin....he talk about pet names n wat they do wen they chill...2 me thats showing the luv he has 4 the girl. Really, n my opinion, sex is always better wen ur n luv with that person lol. I mean then really n truely can u call it making luv.....i mean making luv is soooo much more beautiful (sorry im kind of a helpless romantic) then jus sex with a partner. wen u make luv to a person that ur N LUV with everything jus sits still n time stops a lil bit n everything feels twice as good.....n u feel the luv that u have 4 them...n u gladly show it lol. Its nice 2 have a person u feel like u can share ur everything 2 n then have them give u their everything. That is the best i ever had lol.....that is hard 2 top, but then i guess thats y its ur best.....bc no1 can top that shit....no matter how good they r......the only way they can top it is if they make u fall n luv....then thats wen the top spot has 2 look lol. So i wonder if the person drake is talkin bout is some1 he luvs......gotta b....bc then she wouldnt b the best.


Friday, April 17, 2009

a nigga gon b a nigga

Its funny how u expect things outta ppl bc they talk a certian way or act a certian way. or they dnt talk about something n it makes u think that they r interested n u n 1 way, but sometimes u 4get that they a nigga regardless of the situation. SMH.......i mean sometimes wen i meet a person i can tell frm jump st that they about that thing but sometimes nigga put on the front like they interested n ur mind...n not ur body......n it makes u think hey.......mayb they can b somebody i really talk 2....but then they f- up n show the real them.....the nigga side...n then i go bakk 2 the whole.....a nigga gon b a nigga.......u put pussy nfront of them n they gon fukk it...literally....iwish i can find somebody who is willin 2 wait....who is willin 2 b my bf or man....who wants 2 have a relatonship....not interested n jus the pussy but the mind behind it...the person behond it....this woman behind.....a person who is not scared 2 fall n luv n share their wants n needs n luvn their faults n strengths.......thats the kind of person im looking 4......unfortunately i feel like mayb there is not enough of those kinds of men 2go around bc their is definately a short n the va area lmao.....smh....i mean i kinda thought that mayb jus mayb he might b nfront of me.....n then the nigga came out n started 2 talk 2 me......n i played around 4 awhile but then i thought....he probably jus around like the rest of these niggaz...tryin 2 get the pussy n fool the owman n front of the pussy....lmao well guess wat the woman is smarter then u think.....i learned frm the best (JAG) i went through 3yrs of learning the lessons of a nigga thats interested n jus the pussy....he was interested n more then my pussy but i saw wat he did 2 those other girls n that is where i learned my lesson.........2me he was the best (player,pimp,runner of game. w/e u wanna call it) that i kno n bc i was wit him i learned many lessons....he told me.....exactly wat anigga say wen he jus want the pussy...n even though i hate him im glad that i learned that lesson....so guess wat if u cum at me i already kno wat it is.....im not stupid lol.......i mean i can b a nigga about the situation...which i have n the past but really im not lookin 2 do that ne more.......regardless imma b me.....me n shaniyah.....if u wanna join then try but if u jus lookin 2 get n mommy's drawers keep it movin bc that shit is all up n the way lmao!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

twice n a day!

so i recently was reading (n finished) the book by steve harvey "act like a lady, think like a man."



and n one of the chapeters he gives i guess u can call them reasons on y guys cheat.......and alot of the reasons do make sense but i mean there should b no reason y a man should cheat. Me, personally i feel like if i am n a relationship with u n u have the need 2 cheat then break up wit me. I mean really n honestly u feel that u want another woman mentally (yea u can mentally cheat) or physically enough n u cant help yourself then tell me u want 2 take a break........let me kno that right now u gotta get sum things straight with yourself.....like that 1 song by donnell jones wen he like he dnt wanna hurt her. Dnt hurt me jus break up wit me so u can fukk who eva u wanna fukk, but dnt have me lookin stupid thinkin that u honest n committed n u aint. This is wen the bitch n me finds out n carries ur ass 2 the left......yea i do find out n i do something about that shit. But yea sorry got upset frm the past a lil bit. u can avoid alot of drama n yelling n fighting if you would just break up wit the girl n let her know that ur lil man is being bad. Now dont always expect her 2b a good girl n stay n not do shit bc trust n believe we girls have "lil women" that misbehave n wen daddy wanna leave mommy will party!

*quiet time*

ok so i want 2 explain something........1st the definition of OPEN. i use that word alot so i thought i could explain it.....open is wen a person of the opposite sex has u excited n has u feelin the little things u feel wen u r n luv, but let me b clear being open does not mean u luv that person. No it jus means that u feel like u have known them 4eva n it doesnt feel like u jus met. U feel like u can do things with them that u normally wouldnt do n say things u normally wouldnt say 2 a person that u jus started hanging wit. Ok me i normally would not b open 4 NE ONE! i have not ben open.....i have to explain......4 ne1 since my daughters father. I mean i luved him so clearly he had me open. but i think i might b a lil open a lil bit, lol. Now me being open doesnt effect my judgement bc if the nigga do something side ways he will awaken the bitch n me n i think i might scare him a lil bit lol. but i mean really...it has ben yrs since i actually liked some1 literally. I mean i like ppl but something always shows me n the 1st wk of me texting them that this shit will not b working out lol. but this guy is a lil different. Now im not saying that i kno him n luv him n all that shit bc i did jus start talking 2 him n aint ben that long, but i must say i am a lil open lol. Im a lil hype 2c where things will go n how they will turn out. Im smiling a lil bit bc its like wen u go on a road trip n u pass by a factory n its smells raw, disgusting.........n then u pass by n cum 2 something like a beautiful field of roses.........he is like a breathe of fresh air. HAHA again do not think im all n luv with him im jus happy that i have things n ppl n my life now that have made me completely n totally b ova the baby daddy LMAO.....i still feel like i wasted my time with him n shoulda jus let him go on with his many girls that he had........but i did get my beautifull daughter out of the deal lol. n even if this guy dnt work out n he turn out 2 b a liar or cheater like sum others i kno...guess wat i still have SHANIYAh n the CHEETAH girls. N regardless of anything im moving on 2 the nxt chapters n my life n i nvr thought i could go on 2 those chapters without jermaine, but guess wat i can n i am....YES!!!! thank u jesus.......lol.....thanks 4 the breathe of fresh air n my life n i hope that u let this work out or even if it doesnt bring something my way that will.........bc u kno i need a bakk up plan......n right now i kinda dnt have 1....but yea im open A LIL BIT bc i like em a LIL BIT LMAO!!!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

ok so now wat

u kno wats hard..........determining wat ppl wat. Like u kno that whole awkward "dating" stage wen u date someone but u really jus started 2 get 2 know them so u dnt really kno wat their lookin 4 but u kno wat u want................its kinda crazy. like i know wat i want.....i want a relationship.......i want to have a man, bf, significant other.....wat eva u may call it. No im not desperate bc im not looking 4 it, but if i date u im dating expecting 4 it 2 gradually move 2 this point. But the hard thing is that wen ppl get my number or they try n talk 2 me its i usually can tel if they after my goodies n i jus use them as distracions until i find someone that my radar dnt go off on. Now 4 this person the radar says is ok...i kinda put time n2 them....but then its hard 2 tell whether they wanna date me 2 b a gf or if they r gradually jus dating so they can get the cookies.....smh......this is a crazy world that we live n......sometimes its hard 2 tell left frm right n right frm left....n then u dnt wnna ask questions bc u dnt want the person 2 think ur comin on 2 strong n mess up wat potentially might b something good........c this is y i perfer 2 b single n skip all the hard stuff.....

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

boys will b boys

yea boys will b boys, but my question is wen will these boys grow up? honestly how long will sticking ya thing n everything moving......playin with girls heart....lying.......and trying 2 act like a man go on. Will you be 25 with no1 2 hold at night or even someone u kno u can call on......does it bother u that u have hurt the heart of so many women? idk n i dnt understand the minds of boys......how can u act like a man n pretend 2 b something that u r not. I mean if u gon play around....a real man would tell a woman he is seeing..."im not interested in a relationship right now" how hard is that. Now i kno u probably thinking that someone has recentlt dne it 2 me but no ur wrong i just observe n c how things happen. Boys crave attention....regardless if its bad or good....they crave it n need it.....so they will do childish things just 2 draw a reaction outta u, but a man he doesnt want any bad attention bc it might hurt his image n he is out of his childish ways........ok another thought.......if a girl is just 1 of ur options y not tell her so? she going around thinking that "yea im wifee" wen she is really on a long list of things 2do....me i rather would b upfront tell me wat i am so i can kno my place n kno ur place.....n me if u r jus a distraction usually u will kno....but if u r n option........i will show a different type of interest.....n by all means if u cum up 2 me like a man n ask me a questions i will HONESTLY answer ur question.....this is y women r usually good at relationships....9 times out of 10 they r honest...but not a man.....SMH b a man n b honest.....or mayb i should say b a woman n b honest LMAO

Monday, April 6, 2009

its ben a long time


So yea its ben almost 2 wks since i ben up here. Sorry ben kinda busy. Was preparing for a big party n got side tracked frm blogging. So ne ways.....life has ben wonderful. It seems like wen i feel like i am at my lowest......God steps in..........and picks me up n helps me brush my shoulders off. Very recently me being single and not talking to any1 had me feeling a certian kinda way. I felt like subconciously i was waitin 4 my x. Like i had myself out there but not really taking advantage of ne oppurtunities. Well, guess wat all that has changed. I realize that I am a beautiful, loving, caring, sexy person and I should not keep all this 2 myself. I should share it woth someone. N u kno wat i did i started really being out there n open. n im proud of myself. I kinda feel like a new woman n a dorky kinda way but it dnt matter bc i started 2 c ppl that i kinda like. i started having convos wit ppl that r kinda dope............n ppl who listen 2 me, n wat i say, n r interested n me as a mother, n my daughter.........nvr thought guys could b like that! Sometimes wen i give advice 2 my friends n other ppl i 4got 2 listen 2 wat i say n take it n myself. I have 2 stop thinking about the past n the person who hurt me bc guess wat he not thinking about me...he doing him.......wat he wants who he wants how he wants.............im no longer n that equation.......so i have 2 set up a new theory with a new equation so that it will equal my HAPPINESS..........mayb this guy im digging aint the 1 but guess wat he making me look at men like i have a chance 2 find 1 that will b my 1..........lol........i luv wen things go my way!

Monday, March 23, 2009

N i wonder.....

No matter how hard i try i cant get outta of this thing im n. Ok so i kno i been sayin im ready 4 the nxt person 2 cum n2 my life but it seem like he not gon cum. Ok yea i kinda talk 2 ppl, but not really. Like i text ppl frm time 2 time. They act like they r tryin 3 get personal n shit but it nvr make it past textin. so im thinking 2 myself, is itme? am i pushing these ppl away bc deep dwn nside i have my luv locked dwn 4 some1 else n im waitin or him. I really, really hope this not the case. i dnt wanna wait 4 him no more, but it seem like the harder i try 2 not think of him n move on the harder it is 4 me 2 even meet somebody. N then most men that approach me 2day r interested n casual sex n that is a no no 4 me. I am not a person who casually has sex with a person i kno. I mean i have tried 2 convince n tell myself that the nxt time i do have sex it will b with a person that i am n a relationship with. i mean a rela relationship. Some1 that i call my man, my mister, my bf, wat eva i will b callin him. That will b the person i will b givin the cookies 2, but i mean if no 1 wants 2 take that position then does that mean i will b waitin another 6months b4 i have sex? b4 i fall n luv? I jus wonder wen its gonna b sometimes. i mean i have ben single 4 almost 3 yrs now, lol yup 2 n 1/2 u might as well say. How long do i have 2 wait 2 find someine special. No one klnows how hard this is...no one...bc no one has gone through the shit i have gone through...smh...jus another day n my life i guess~

Friday, March 20, 2009

not lookin

They say that if you want 2 find a significant other that u must not look 4 1, that u r suppose 2 keep urself busy. THIS is very hard 2 do. I must admit that yes I am looking, but i must admit that this is a hard thing 2 do. I mean 4 one I am a picky individual. I have even ben told that i am high maitenince. I do not agree. I just really believen chivlry n that a man is suppose 2 pick u up n pay 4 shit. I believe n the whole open the doors and all that good stuff. I mean im not a gold digger bc I dnt want u payin 4 me 2 live but if we go on a date y cant u pay 10 for a damn movie ticket? but yea ne way I am picky. I do not give everyone my number bc if u look crazy u probably r lol. N then if i do give u my number n u gotta b careful wat u say boo bc im the type of bitch that will cut u off 4 sayin 1 wrong thing. I kno thats crazy but i am a psychology major n i feel that i analyze ppl n if u do not pass the analysis then u r not the 1 for me! But on the other hand I do want somebody 2 fill this void I have. I want some1 i can introduce 2 the fam n the cheetah girls n someone i can laugh with n talk 2. SOmeone I can introduce my daughter 2 n go on dates n make me as hapy as i make them. A prince charming, n no they do not have 2 b perfect bc NO ONE n this world is perfect but mayb they can b the perfect person 4 me.........mayb God created them jus 4 me, n me jus 4 them. Maybe we were meant 2 b 2gether! Iono i jus feel a certian kinda way about the ppl that I meet n that do try 2 take it there with me. I feel like 95 percent of guys lie or cheat n there is only that small 5 percent that dnt, but of that 5 percent 3 percent are taken. So that leaves us single girls with a small 2 percent, then u have 2 think about it there is a biger percent of girls n this world then there r guys......so u c y i have given up on luv? See y i say imma b single 4eva? Its bc i only have a small 2 percent of the male speices 2 compete for n me i am not 1 to compete. Dnt get it twisted wen i do go out i do look fly, but im not the girl thats gonna cum up 2 u n b like "i saw u lookin at me frm across the rm." N y do u ask do i not do that bc again i believe n chivlry n if a guy thinks im attractive n steps 2 me correct guess wat? he will walk away with a name n seven digits lol.
I just think that i will b wasting my time if i approach a guy, its weird 2 me. I can c u everyday doing the same thing n feel like u r the best lookin nigga i have ever seen. u can give me the cum hither look n guess wat i will smile at u n talk about u 2 my friends but I WILL not cum hother n ask 4 ur number. Mayb it stems frm me being shy? iono but the only person Ihave EVER approached n my life was the father of my child n u see eventually that did not work out. So i figure that maybe me approachin a man is not a good look! lol yea but ne way outtie lol

Thursday, March 19, 2009

luv is soooo very funny

I wonder how does it feel 2 literally break someones heart? How do you feel in the end wen u get off the phone with the person you have dated for more then a yr n tell them "its ova." Do u cry, do u call ya other chick? Do you plan the wk end or nxt day out? I mean wen eva I broken up wit someone I usually sit n the house 4 awile bc I feel wrong n it really hurts me. Wen u stop being in luv with someone who still has feelings for u how does it feel? Do u wake up 1 day n think "damn Jakia just aint touchin my heart the way i used to?" I sometimes think about my x wen I talk about this bc even after we were broken up would spend the night at his house, did he wake up n the middle of the night n look at me like "why is this bitch still at my house?" Did he want 2 other girls n i was blocking? n there i was sound asleep thiking that this man still loved me and wanted to be wit me. Thats y luv is soooo funny. One day ur happy n planning to do things n go places n the nxt day u cant even stand to look or even talk 2 each other. Why waste time with luv I want 2 say. But then I think of the beautiful times that love allowed for me to have. The trips to the beach at night watching the water n listening 2 the waves. We would hold hands with the radio on and jus chill not b sexual at all! We would jus enjoy each others company. Or even after sex u would go n get my glass of water (lmao) n then u would get n bed n bring me closer n we would cuddle until i feel asleep. I remember times wen i would have a bad dream n u would bring me closer 2 u n tell me that everything was ok n that u had me n that u would nvr let nething or ne 1 hurt me, but i guess u didnt include ur self n that statement! Well, these r times that I love luv 4. the sweetness, the sugar, the smile, n the cuddle. I luv luv 4 all of that but i hate it 4 everything after that. I guess i have a luv hate relationship with luv. maybe the only thing 2 do is 2 fall bakk n luv so i can have better times!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

stREEt liGHts


Yea its another kanye songs but I like it n i dnt care wat no one has 2 say, lol. But I been going through alot since my bday. It seems like wen i turned a yr older i got a yr worth of bad news and bad things happen to me. It has ben really hard, but guess wat the moments have passed and the events as well. Because of these things happening to me I am a stronger person. Now i do have to give credit to my best friends (better known as the cheetah girls, also known as my wife and my mistress lmao). The have been there for me and supported me and sat right nxt 2 me as the shit was going down. They even helped me move outta one place n n2 another. They were there wen i was being blamed for shit I didnt do and even wen i was gettin messages frm a very dirty person. But like kanye song say those moments go by so fast just like being in a car and seeing strret lights pass on the streets. Its like moments n time passing you by. Damn that go hard. I was in the car the other day looking out the window on the interstate and it all clicked. There they were all the bad moments passing me and there I was leaving them behind me never to see them again. They are moments in my life.......street lights on the highway of my life! After I pass those lights I will come up to new and ones n this time they will be brighter and maybe I'll slow down so I can actually admire them!!!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Not a baby MOMA wit DRAMA

It has come to my attention that a certian person has got their account hacked into and this certian person and the ppl they assoc. theirselves wit feel like it is me. Now I don't understand 1 how i can b blamed for a situation like this when I dont kno ne accounts passwords and I didnt make ne of these accounts up. I know no 1 will believe me but wat eva. for the pass couple of wks I have ben tagged to notes and sent messages frm this person thinkin that it is the father of my child tryin 2 hurt my feelings, but I realized a couplde of days ago, like why wouuld he do that n we barely even talk, well we dnt talk at all, but still that is a little strange. Then 2day I am woken out of my sleep by a text alert on my phone frm my myspace. I did write him a message on myspace asking about fb and guess wat ladies and gentlemen this bitch has the nerve to write me bakk. NOW I am angry ok. It takes alot for me 2 get pissed off bc I dnt really pay attention to him and the women that he keep ne more, but this bitch is crossing the line. Now obviously, me n him will nvr get bakk 2gether, n i am not worried about him bc after april we will b doing things the right way, but damn can I get a fucking rest. Now i kno im the baby momma n should b a target but if we dnt talk how the fukk u gon digg through old shit cum up wit my name and jus start assuming u kno shit about me? u dnt kno me, yes im quite but this is by choice. Im not his girl no more so why should i make noise about him? none of these girls do nething 2 me or my baby and the ones who say shit 2 me i say shit bakk. so MISS imma hack in2 his account 2 get bakk at him, guess wat? u stupid he dnt want u no more obviously n he done moved on to the nxt 1. if you really did ur research u would have read wen i said that a VERY long time ago. Once he done he move on to the nxt 1 (LMAO didnt mean to make that rhyme). but REAL TALK if i find out who u r n u live newhere near me I will have a few chice things to say 2 u n really dnt let me see ur ass n the street bc this shit is crazy. I told jermaine to stop messing wit these young girls n u gotta b young 2 do this shit. 2 have the time 2 do this shit. 2 even figure out how 2 do this shit. I mean really this shit is crazy. I dnt even understand how u did this shit, but fa real fa real, dnt let me find out who u r bc despite the fact that i dnt like his other bitchz i think i will tell them who u r n let them fight ya ass........but really crazy stalker bitch leave me the fukk alone!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

something 4 me....

Sometimes in life you have to encourage yourself. You have to be your own inspiration. Well, for me I fell lucky, I have a beautiful baby girl that inspires me and makes me feel like I have to be better.But sometimes in life we forget wat we have and the we sometimes lose the will to put up the fight. I feel like I lost that. Not in my career or with school but with luv. I feel like I let someone hurt me soooo bad and put me through sooooo much pain that I just sat bakk and was like fuck it, I dont need love. I dont need a man in my life again ever. For the past year and change I have been telling my friends and even my family that I'm going to be single forever. I felt like I would never be a happily married woman. And no it was not because I think I would be a bad wife, because believe or not at the young age of 23 I act more like a wife (even though I have a man nor a ring lol) then actual married woman act.
I mean on sum straight G shit all I do is work, go to school, and take care of my daughter during the week days. Yes, I do have friends but not that many and they do come over from time to time. But usually we watch movies n drink wine. Sometime we smoke, but thats all we do. On sum real shit we do gf things without realizing it. Wen we do go out on the wk end we usually leave the club early LMAO. I mean really this is us and wat we do and we have fun doing things OUR way bc we have fun.
Yea but basically, I have given up on luv and even relationships in general.......I even was ok with the fact of not having sex again. LOL I know it sounds really weird and strange, but let me explain something to you. I am a weirdo..point blank. I am a dork, nerd, wat eva you want to call me. I accept that bc I know its true. Because of my weirdness I am very upfront and honest with myself and others. I feel like I shouldn't be having casual sex. That was for my younger years and I didnt really do it then so I WON'T be doing it now. So if i feel like I'm going to be single forever that means I will be sexless forever....get the picture? lol, but you know today I realized something, believe it or not in church, me believing that God wants me to be alone for the rest of my life cannot be true. Maybe I'm single because I believe I will be single. I mean you know how people percieve wat you let them see about you....well maybe wen people look at me (whether they find me attractive or not) they see a girl who maybe in a relationship...or a girl that is not really to friendly (im told i look mean if im by myself LMAO) or a girl who is just not approachable.
Well, I feel like so many good things have happened to me in the past few days that maybe I am changing. Now I'm not saying that the nxt person I talk to will be the love of my life or even a love of mine at all, but he will help to build a bridge for me. He will help to open the doors that I have under lock and key. And I know that he will help the next brother out in moving past the shit that I got blocking my heart. And if he is the one that I do fall in love with.....i know that we have some good times ahead of us and maybe even some bad times. But I will cherish the good that we will have because I have been through alot of pain. So sir whoever you are I want to thank you in advance for helping me out. I am a lil shy, and it is hard for me to trust guys, but once you have my love and my trust.......I will honor and cherish you.....and like I said I'm a good gf (wifey type u feel me LOL) as long as you are a good bf, but wat ever you give me expect to get the same and return. O yes I must point out that this is not to any specific guy that I know I am talkin n general so dont get NE ideas behind this LOL....unless u want me 2 b ur wifey LMAO....and like the pastor told the church 2day......the season is ending and another 1 is beginning..........."summer is ova" (nakia's quote! thanks boo)