what else can i say

ok so after a very trying wk im FINALLY hme n VA. What else can i say but i am happy. i mean yea im dealing with alot of shit now but things look like their on the up n up........I have ben put through much worse and made it through so all i have to do is jus keep my faith. I mean i havent even heard frm the "jermaine stalker" n a very long time so thats always good news. I can start my job hunt bakk bc i dnt have 2 babysit no lil kids. My daughter is n good health n my fam really enjoyed babysitting her n NY. I dnt have stress of grades right now...even though thats kind of a bad thing but like i said faith! its keepin me going n knowin n the bakk of my mind that God really does have something planned 4 me (as well as my daughter) keeps me motivated. I CAN DO THIS. I WILL DO THIS. i will prevail, no doubt about it lol. It jus takes time....smh....but u know on another note; sometimes i feel like jus as things r goin my way something comes n the way n knocks the shit outta of my hand. n ppl wonder y i smoke bud sometime......i b fukkin stressed lol, really comeon ppl.

best i ever had

since im feeling drake a lil bit more then my boy kanye then i guess i can write something about the best i eva had....but not 2 specific kiddies lol......well i kinda feel a lil partial to "the best" bc i think wen all ppl...women n men.....think bakk 2 the best they ever had they always think of the person they were n luv wit the most. bc i think even that song drake talks about other things then them jus fukkin....he talk about pet names n wat they do wen they chill...2 me thats showing the luv he has 4 the girl. Really, n my opinion, sex is always better wen ur n luv with that person lol. I mean then really n truely can u call it making luv.....i mean making luv is soooo much more beautiful (sorry im kind of a helpless romantic) then jus sex with a partner. wen u make luv to a person that ur N LUV with everything jus sits still n time stops a lil bit n everything feels twice as good.....n u feel the luv that u have 4 them...n u gladly show it lol. Its nice 2 have a person u feel like u can share ur everything 2 n then have them give u their everything. That is the best i ever had lol.....that is hard 2 top, but then i guess thats y its ur best.....bc no1 can top that shit....no matter how good they r......the only way they can top it is if they make u fall n luv....then thats wen the top spot has 2 look lol. So i wonder if the person drake is talkin bout is some1 he luvs......gotta b....bc then she wouldnt b the best.

a nigga gon b a nigga

Its funny how u expect things outta ppl bc they talk a certian way or act a certian way. or they dnt talk about something n it makes u think that they r interested n u n 1 way, but sometimes u 4get that they a nigga regardless of the situation. SMH.......i mean sometimes wen i meet a person i can tell frm jump st that they about that thing but sometimes nigga put on the front like they interested n ur mind...n not ur body......n it makes u think hey.......mayb they can b somebody i really talk 2....but then they f- up n show the real them.....the nigga side...n then i go bakk 2 the whole.....a nigga gon b a nigga.......u put pussy nfront of them n they gon fukk it...literally....iwish i can find somebody who is willin 2 wait....who is willin 2 b my bf or man....who wants 2 have a relatonship....not interested n jus the pussy but the mind behind it...the person behond it....this woman behind.....a person who is not scared 2 fall n luv n share their wants n needs n luvn their faults n strengths.......thats the kind of person im looking 4......unfortunately i feel like mayb there is not enough of those kinds of men 2go around bc their is definately a short n the va area lmao.....smh....i mean i kinda thought that mayb jus mayb he might b nfront of me.....n then the nigga came out n started 2 talk 2 me......n i played around 4 awhile but then i thought....he probably jus around like the rest of these niggaz...tryin 2 get the pussy n fool the owman n front of the pussy....lmao well guess wat the woman is smarter then u think.....i learned frm the best (JAG) i went through 3yrs of learning the lessons of a nigga thats interested n jus the pussy....he was interested n more then my pussy but i saw wat he did 2 those other girls n that is where i learned my lesson.........2me he was the best (player,pimp,runner of game. w/e u wanna call it) that i kno n bc i was wit him i learned many lessons....he told me.....exactly wat anigga say wen he jus want the pussy...n even though i hate him im glad that i learned that lesson....so guess wat if u cum at me i already kno wat it is.....im not stupid lol.......i mean i can b a nigga about the situation...which i have n the past but really im not lookin 2 do that ne more.......regardless imma b me.....me n shaniyah.....if u wanna join then try but if u jus lookin 2 get n mommy's drawers keep it movin bc that shit is all up n the way lmao!

twice n a day!

so i recently was reading (n finished) the book by steve harvey "act like a lady, think like a man."



and n one of the chapeters he gives i guess u can call them reasons on y guys cheat.......and alot of the reasons do make sense but i mean there should b no reason y a man should cheat. Me, personally i feel like if i am n a relationship with u n u have the need 2 cheat then break up wit me. I mean really n honestly u feel that u want another woman mentally (yea u can mentally cheat) or physically enough n u cant help yourself then tell me u want 2 take a break........let me kno that right now u gotta get sum things straight with yourself.....like that 1 song by donnell jones wen he like he dnt wanna hurt her. Dnt hurt me jus break up wit me so u can fukk who eva u wanna fukk, but dnt have me lookin stupid thinkin that u honest n committed n u aint. This is wen the bitch n me finds out n carries ur ass 2 the left......yea i do find out n i do something about that shit. But yea sorry got upset frm the past a lil bit. u can avoid alot of drama n yelling n fighting if you would just break up wit the girl n let her know that ur lil man is being bad. Now dont always expect her 2b a good girl n stay n not do shit bc trust n believe we girls have "lil women" that misbehave n wen daddy wanna leave mommy will party!

*quiet time*

ok so i want 2 explain something........1st the definition of OPEN. i use that word alot so i thought i could explain it.....open is wen a person of the opposite sex has u excited n has u feelin the little things u feel wen u r n luv, but let me b clear being open does not mean u luv that person. No it jus means that u feel like u have known them 4eva n it doesnt feel like u jus met. U feel like u can do things with them that u normally wouldnt do n say things u normally wouldnt say 2 a person that u jus started hanging wit. Ok me i normally would not b open 4 NE ONE! i have not ben open.....i have to explain......4 ne1 since my daughters father. I mean i luved him so clearly he had me open. but i think i might b a lil open a lil bit, lol. Now me being open doesnt effect my judgement bc if the nigga do something side ways he will awaken the bitch n me n i think i might scare him a lil bit lol. but i mean really...it has ben yrs since i actually liked some1 literally. I mean i like ppl but something always shows me n the 1st wk of me texting them that this shit will not b working out lol. but this guy is a lil different. Now im not saying that i kno him n luv him n all that shit bc i did jus start talking 2 him n aint ben that long, but i must say i am a lil open lol. Im a lil hype 2c where things will go n how they will turn out. Im smiling a lil bit bc its like wen u go on a road trip n u pass by a factory n its smells raw, disgusting.........n then u pass by n cum 2 something like a beautiful field of roses.........he is like a breathe of fresh air. HAHA again do not think im all n luv with him im jus happy that i have things n ppl n my life now that have made me completely n totally b ova the baby daddy LMAO.....i still feel like i wasted my time with him n shoulda jus let him go on with his many girls that he had........but i did get my beautifull daughter out of the deal lol. n even if this guy dnt work out n he turn out 2 b a liar or cheater like sum others i kno...guess wat i still have SHANIYAh n the CHEETAH girls. N regardless of anything im moving on 2 the nxt chapters n my life n i nvr thought i could go on 2 those chapters without jermaine, but guess wat i can n i am....YES!!!! thank u jesus.......lol.....thanks 4 the breathe of fresh air n my life n i hope that u let this work out or even if it doesnt bring something my way that will.........bc u kno i need a bakk up plan......n right now i kinda dnt have 1....but yea im open A LIL BIT bc i like em a LIL BIT LMAO!!!

ok so now wat

u kno wats hard..........determining wat ppl wat. Like u kno that whole awkward "dating" stage wen u date someone but u really jus started 2 get 2 know them so u dnt really kno wat their lookin 4 but u kno wat u want................its kinda crazy. like i know wat i want.....i want a relationship.......i want to have a man, bf, significant other.....wat eva u may call it. No im not desperate bc im not looking 4 it, but if i date u im dating expecting 4 it 2 gradually move 2 this point. But the hard thing is that wen ppl get my number or they try n talk 2 me its i usually can tel if they after my goodies n i jus use them as distracions until i find someone that my radar dnt go off on. Now 4 this person the radar says is ok...i kinda put time n2 them....but then its hard 2 tell whether they wanna date me 2 b a gf or if they r gradually jus dating so they can get the cookies.....smh......this is a crazy world that we live n......sometimes its hard 2 tell left frm right n right frm left....n then u dnt wnna ask questions bc u dnt want the person 2 think ur comin on 2 strong n mess up wat potentially might b something good........c this is y i perfer 2 b single n skip all the hard stuff.....

boys will b boys

yea boys will b boys, but my question is wen will these boys grow up? honestly how long will sticking ya thing n everything moving......playin with girls heart....lying.......and trying 2 act like a man go on. Will you be 25 with no1 2 hold at night or even someone u kno u can call on......does it bother u that u have hurt the heart of so many women? idk n i dnt understand the minds of boys......how can u act like a man n pretend 2 b something that u r not. I mean if u gon play around....a real man would tell a woman he is seeing..."im not interested in a relationship right now" how hard is that. Now i kno u probably thinking that someone has recentlt dne it 2 me but no ur wrong i just observe n c how things happen. Boys crave attention....regardless if its bad or good....they crave it n need it.....so they will do childish things just 2 draw a reaction outta u, but a man he doesnt want any bad attention bc it might hurt his image n he is out of his childish ways........ok another thought.......if a girl is just 1 of ur options y not tell her so? she going around thinking that "yea im wifee" wen she is really on a long list of things 2do....me i rather would b upfront tell me wat i am so i can kno my place n kno ur place.....n me if u r jus a distraction usually u will kno....but if u r n option........i will show a different type of interest.....n by all means if u cum up 2 me like a man n ask me a questions i will HONESTLY answer ur question.....this is y women r usually good at relationships....9 times out of 10 they r honest...but not a man.....SMH b a man n b honest.....or mayb i should say b a woman n b honest LMAO

its ben a long time

So yea its ben almost 2 wks since i ben up here. Sorry ben kinda busy. Was preparing for a big party n got side tracked frm blogging. So ne ways.....life has ben wonderful. It seems like wen i feel like i am at my lowest......God steps in..........and picks me up n helps me brush my shoulders off. Very recently me being single and not talking to any1 had me feeling a certian kinda way. I felt like subconciously i was waitin 4 my x. Like i had myself out there but not really taking advantage of ne oppurtunities. Well, guess wat all that has changed. I realize that I am a beautiful, loving, caring, sexy person and I should not keep all this 2 myself. I should share it woth someone. N u kno wat i did i started really being out there n open. n im proud of myself. I kinda feel like a new woman n a dorky kinda way but it dnt matter bc i started 2 c ppl that i kinda like. i started having convos wit ppl that r kinda dope............n ppl who listen 2 me, n wat i say, n r interested n me as a mother, n my daughter.........nvr thought guys could b like that! Sometimes wen i give advice 2 my friends n other ppl i 4got 2 listen 2 wat i say n take it n myself. I have 2 stop thinking about the past n the person who hurt me bc guess wat he not thinking about me...he doing him.......wat he wants who he wants how he wants.............im no longer n that equation.......so i have 2 set up a new theory with a new equation so that it will equal my HAPPINESS..........mayb this guy im digging aint the 1 but guess wat he making me look at men like i have a chance 2 find 1 that will b my 1..........lol........i luv wen things go my way!