not lookin

They say that if you want 2 find a significant other that u must not look 4 1, that u r suppose 2 keep urself busy. THIS is very hard 2 do. I must admit that yes I am looking, but i must admit that this is a hard thing 2 do. I mean 4 one I am a picky individual. I have even ben told that i am high maitenince. I do not agree. I just really believen chivlry n that a man is suppose 2 pick u up n pay 4 shit. I believe n the whole open the doors and all that good stuff. I mean im not a gold digger bc I dnt want u payin 4 me 2 live but if we go on a date y cant u pay 10 for a damn movie ticket? but yea ne way I am picky. I do not give everyone my number bc if u look crazy u probably r lol. N then if i do give u my number n u gotta b careful wat u say boo bc im the type of bitch that will cut u off 4 sayin 1 wrong thing. I kno thats crazy but i am a psychology major n i feel that i analyze ppl n if u do not pass the analysis then u r not the 1 for me! But on the other hand I do want somebody 2 fill this void I have. I want some1 i can introduce 2 the fam n the cheetah girls n someone i can laugh with n talk 2. SOmeone I can introduce my daughter 2 n go on dates n make me as hapy as i make them. A prince charming, n no they do not have 2 b perfect bc NO ONE n this world is perfect but mayb they can b the perfect person 4 me.........mayb God created them jus 4 me, n me jus 4 them. Maybe we were meant 2 b 2gether! Iono i jus feel a certian kinda way about the ppl that I meet n that do try 2 take it there with me. I feel like 95 percent of guys lie or cheat n there is only that small 5 percent that dnt, but of that 5 percent 3 percent are taken. So that leaves us single girls with a small 2 percent, then u have 2 think about it there is a biger percent of girls n this world then there r guys......so u c y i have given up on luv? See y i say imma b single 4eva? Its bc i only have a small 2 percent of the male speices 2 compete for n me i am not 1 to compete. Dnt get it twisted wen i do go out i do look fly, but im not the girl thats gonna cum up 2 u n b like "i saw u lookin at me frm across the rm." N y do u ask do i not do that bc again i believe n chivlry n if a guy thinks im attractive n steps 2 me correct guess wat? he will walk away with a name n seven digits lol.
I just think that i will b wasting my time if i approach a guy, its weird 2 me. I can c u everyday doing the same thing n feel like u r the best lookin nigga i have ever seen. u can give me the cum hither look n guess wat i will smile at u n talk about u 2 my friends but I WILL not cum hother n ask 4 ur number. Mayb it stems frm me being shy? iono but the only person Ihave EVER approached n my life was the father of my child n u see eventually that did not work out. So i figure that maybe me approachin a man is not a good look! lol yea but ne way outtie lol

luv is soooo very funny

I wonder how does it feel 2 literally break someones heart? How do you feel in the end wen u get off the phone with the person you have dated for more then a yr n tell them "its ova." Do u cry, do u call ya other chick? Do you plan the wk end or nxt day out? I mean wen eva I broken up wit someone I usually sit n the house 4 awile bc I feel wrong n it really hurts me. Wen u stop being in luv with someone who still has feelings for u how does it feel? Do u wake up 1 day n think "damn Jakia just aint touchin my heart the way i used to?" I sometimes think about my x wen I talk about this bc even after we were broken up would spend the night at his house, did he wake up n the middle of the night n look at me like "why is this bitch still at my house?" Did he want 2 other girls n i was blocking? n there i was sound asleep thiking that this man still loved me and wanted to be wit me. Thats y luv is soooo funny. One day ur happy n planning to do things n go places n the nxt day u cant even stand to look or even talk 2 each other. Why waste time with luv I want 2 say. But then I think of the beautiful times that love allowed for me to have. The trips to the beach at night watching the water n listening 2 the waves. We would hold hands with the radio on and jus chill not b sexual at all! We would jus enjoy each others company. Or even after sex u would go n get my glass of water (lmao) n then u would get n bed n bring me closer n we would cuddle until i feel asleep. I remember times wen i would have a bad dream n u would bring me closer 2 u n tell me that everything was ok n that u had me n that u would nvr let nething or ne 1 hurt me, but i guess u didnt include ur self n that statement! Well, these r times that I love luv 4. the sweetness, the sugar, the smile, n the cuddle. I luv luv 4 all of that but i hate it 4 everything after that. I guess i have a luv hate relationship with luv. maybe the only thing 2 do is 2 fall bakk n luv so i can have better times!

sitting here thinking

about the past. You know the past is a crazy thing. Even though there maybe many things in the past that we may regret EVERYTHING, and I do mean everything ladies n gentlemen, makes us who we are. Now in my case there are things about myself that I hate. I blame the past for these things. Like, for instance, it is very hard for me to trust what guys say out their mouth. I mean I really want to, but my ex hurt me so bad that he basically ruined it for every other person I try to get with, or even try and get with me. Its crazy how that works. Now I'm sitting here thinking that every guy that I ever talk to will be a liar and cheater because I had bad experiences. The past is what makes us and shapes us. Even though there are things I hate there are also things I love. I love the fact that I have very high standards for people I date. I am a strong believer in chivlry and jsut being sweet. I do thank my ex for that because regardless of the situation he usually was a gentlemen.
I mean I'm like most girls. I love love point blank. I love being in love and having that significant other to count on and trust in. It's just really hard to find a person that is on the same level as you are. I really truely believe that there is smebody out there for everybody, but maybe God forgot to make my special somebody. Maybe I'm destined to be a single woman forever. Maybe i should be with my daughter forever just us two until she finds her husband. Then I will get a dog lol to take care of and occupy my time.